.... dusting up

It's been a while and a lot has happened in the past year. Good things and bad things. But that's life isn't it?

I currently have a full-time job working with dogs and it's exhausting yet rewarding. It's pretty loud too so when the dogs are barking and my boss is trying to talk to me -- I usually rely on lip-reading which works out pretty well.

I will be graduating this spring and I'm looking forward to it.

I'll try to come back and start posting again. How are all of you? I've been so out of the loop lately.

Relationships

I went to the doctor two days ago and my boyfriend was mentioned in our conversation. "Oh that's great that you have a boyfriend! Now you can feel accepted by someone else besides your family and friends!"I instantly thought, 'But I'm not with him because he accepts me, I with him because I love him'. I wish I said that out-loud. I felt that her comment was offensive because I don't seek out relationships just to feel accepted and 'normal' nor to drain it with my insecurities. Rather, I seek them out to have someone that loves me for who I am and to have a friendship and moral support that I can treasure.

Would you guys find that kind of comment offensive too?

Zine for the Deaf

So I've been thinking about setting up a zine based on the Deaf world somehow and wanted some input from you guys! A zine is a mini version of a magazine for those of you who don't know. Since there's only a few magazines for the Deaf, I think this would be quite a success! So far I had a few ideas to incorporate the writings and artwork of some Deaf people and interviews as well. It's still in the brainstorming process but I would love to get some ideas from you guys! What would you guys want to see in a zine based on the Deaf community/culture/world?

Please throw all your ideas out at me!

Music Through Deaf Ears

I just bought a guitar online along with a copy of Guitars for Dummies. It should be arriving anywhere from Tuesday to Friday. I'm actually excited for it, to feel the music that I make in my hands.  I used to take piano lessons for seven years when I was younger. The wooden piano with yellowed keys sits, forgotten as proof of my lack of interest. I couldn't understand or hear the music correctly.

I've only recently experienced music differently, in the Deaf way. It pounds through the air, leaving your bones trembling. You can really feel it, move to it. That's how I now 'listen' to music, through sensations more than sound. What is music for you? How do you 'listen' to it? Do you feel that music a part of the Deaf community?

Accented

Lately more and more people recognize the fact that I am Deaf by the way I talk. The first time someone said told me that they could tell that I was deaf by my speech was when I was in group therapy the beginning of this year. I was surprised and hurt at first. So used to everyone praising me for how well I could speak I was, that it felt almost like an insult for someone to hint at the fact that my speech was laced with a deaf accent. But I quickly grew to accept that. I've been so much more open with my Deafness, telling people right off the bat that I am hard-of-hearing (gets less of a violent reaction compared to Deaf) and I need them to repeat what they just said. I know that there is a world out there that fits me so well, a Deaf community that I am a part of, that accepts me. It makes it so much easier for me to survive and function in the hearing world.

Does anyone else have a similar experience? Please do share!

I've also been increasingly more interested in interpreting songs into ASL and possibly recording myself and posting it on video. If it does work out, I will be sure to share with you! I now have three years of signing behind me and I'm proud of how far I've come along (though I do have a ways to go!).

updated apologies

I think it's time for an update (and an apology).

I left you guys off when I was at a dormitory school far away from home. I have since left half way through the year since I was suffering depression and joined another mainstream school with a small deaf program in it. This school might be by far my favorite out of the four schools I've gone to. And the depression is under control for I have improved a lot.

But I made a hard decision to leave, again. This time it's towards college. I'm going to be completing my senior year of high school and freshman year of college simultaneously through a bridge program. I am unbelievably excited (and nervous) about it. It's something I've always wanted to do since I started switching around - to begin college a year early. It's quite literally a dream coming true for me.

I have my road test coming up in August and I'm going today to see if I can get a job at an organic farm/camp's kitchen. It might even be overnight if I decide to stay. I will try to post more about the little things that happen to me on a daily basis due to my deafness.

It's been a long and tiring journey for me and I'm ready to settle for two years in community college and get comfortable before I set out into the world again..... at least we hope!

How is everyone doing? I will be refreshening this blog up and going through all of yours. I must have drifted from the blogging world but here I am, hopefully to stay because it's a wonderful way to record my life and interact with others. Nevertheless, I apologize for my absence.

Hope all is well!

when beauty and technology clashes!

I can see it. When technology gets advanced enough this snake will help you hear better. But for now it's just a unique piece of jewelry. One day...